Sex Pot or Crackpot: Is Weed Really an Aphrodisiac?
- Eva Sativa
- Oct 18, 2017
- 6 min read
Is your girl having a tough time climaxing? Does she not want to have sex as often as you?
Well no worries, buddy, there’s a weed for that! That’s right, just one puff from this aphro-weed-iac and she’ll be so ready to go you’d better be the human form of what happens when Viagra and caffeine make a baby or you’re going to miss out on the sexcapade of your life! And don’t fret over skill, in this new weed world it’s okay to be a lame duck in bed--why bother taking the time to get women to orgasm organically when you can just dope ‘em up and let THC do the work? Women’s orgasms are solved! Men are saved! All hail Mary Jane!
Incredulous? Me, too. (And really, thank the cannabis gods for you because you’re clearly a thinker.) “But where is this idea coming from” you wonder? Or perhaps you spend enough time on the internet to already know where this idea is coming from and you’ve read one or more of the articles about the newly-beloved weed strain in California that is promised to give women a power-up in their apparent lackluster sex lives.
I mock it heavily above but essentially this is the claim of the article, that once smoked this strain will lift every barrier that may exist between women and sexual climax. Right off the bat there are some glaring issues with this idea but before I even begin I’d like to take a second to acknowledge that yes, cannabis can truly be helpful to women who have some issues in the sexual intimacy aspect of their lives. I’m not writing this opinion piece to say that cannabis can’t help, but rather that it does women a disservice to imply that because this one person had this experience that it applies to all other women as well. It’s false advertising plain and simple and ignores the complexities of cannabis, emotion, and human biochemistry.
Sex is complicated and the older we get the harder it can be for a large number of people to get excited, so the idea of a strain of cannabis giving your sexual excitement a sudden revival is not inherently bad; it’s how it’s represented that I take issue with. The article claims that the creator of this aphrodisiac-like strain bred it after discovering that she had the most amazing night of sex after smoking a bowl of Mr. Nice with her male partner. She immediately jumped to the conclusion that her amazing sex-capade was a direct result of smoking this indica-heavy strain and set out to breed an even more sexually potent version of it that everyone could use to have the same experience that she did.
Well, a little TMI about yours truly: weed is the opposite of an aphrodisiac for me. Indica, sativa, hybrid--it doesn’t matter, weed parches me from lip to lip. Furthermore, 90% of the time weed relaxes me to the point that I just find sex to be too energy-consuming for me to be interested in and I require extra coaxing to even get remotely aroused. This is true even when I smoke strains heavy in limonene--a terpene known to give us energy when inhaled!
So from a personal perspective weed is absolutely the LAST thing I would recommend as an aphrodisiac! Thus when a THIRD male customer in fewer days came in to ask if we have “that sex strain that helps women orgasm” in stock, I really just wanted to throw my arms up in the air and say exasperatedly, “Hey bro, it’s not a magic pill and it doesn’t work the same for everyone! Maybe your girl’s more complex than that!”
I can’t help but feel like the underlying tone of this article is somewhat dismal towards female orgasms in general. “What’s the matter, babe, why can’t you orgasm? Let’s smoke some weed to make it easier.” Look, women are not impossible, they just sometimes require a little more patience and a little more creativity on the other lover’s part and that level differs from woman to woman. Some of us are “easy” and can reach orgasm from just our nipples being played with, some of us require a lot of time and a controlled environment--it’s a really broad spectrum and the tricks and skills it requires to work a girl’s body into a frenzy should be like fun little treasures that are hunted for rather than horrendous obstacles to overcome.
I think that while it may seem like a thoughtful idea to buy some weed that may help a woman orgasm, what would be even more thoughtful would be taking the time to explore what really rocks her boat, and I bet it starts outside of the bedroom. Just as an example, here are some ideas that might help to pre-heat the oven:
● Clean the house
● Cook a thoughtful meal, maybe even complete it with candles and flowers (her favorite flowers, though, not just roses because they’re the easy choice) if she’s into sappy romance
● Draw her a hot bath and offer a follow-up massage with oils
● Rub her feet!
● Fix that thing in the house that she’s been annoyed about
● Start low and slow, head to toe; tickles, caresses, soft kisses that explore all the curves and attention to all the sweet little details
● ASK HER what she likes! (Gotta save the best for last!)
So how can cannabis be helpful in the bedroom? It can be incredibly helpful for some people who have anxiety around sexual activity--it can relax muscles that tighten and make intercourse painful; it can ease stressful and distracting thoughts; it can alleviate chronic pain that makes sex less enjoyable; it can help people forget negative associations and so on. Cannabis can also elevate your mood so it has the potential to provide some mental euphoria that could be helpful in getting you into the right mental space for sex. Sometimes a good bout of giggling together is all it takes to relax you into a more sensual experience. It even does have the potential to heighten physical and emotional sensations and thus can provide a more intense sexual experience, however it’s the implied promise that a particular strain will literally amp up your orgasm and basically make said mega-gasm a bonafide thing is just, to me, a little hard to swallow. (Huh-huh, “swallow”...) Again, not to say it couldn’t (seriously, kudos to the author for her experience), just that what worked for one person won’t work that way for everyone else. It all comes down to the individual and I just wish that had been stressed in the writing because cannabis medicine is not exact and it’s important not to guarantee what you shouldn’t.
Sadly this kind of writing didn’t stop with her article. I have seen other magazines (even our local strip club magazine, Exotic, which of course would be quick to capitalize on the weed and sex combo) feature similar articles that claim one or more strains will amp up your sex life. At least our stripper magazine editors seem to understand, to a small degree, that the one-size-fits-all approach isn’t the wisest perspective to write from (go figure?). They at least suggest a bunch of strains to try in hopes of a more lustfully-lubricated sexual experience but steer away from making guarantees. Still, the idea prevails between all the lines that weed will enhance your sex life somehow, it’s only a matter of finding the right strain, and the promise of positive enhancement is where I take issue.
It’s primarily for this reason that when I consult my customers about the weed they want to purchase I’m careful to relate my personal experiences with the strain/product with a disclaimer that that’s how it affected me and may not affect them the same. Articles about weed strains and products should come from the same angle and this one’s lack of allowing for individual variance definitely felt like it deserved a multi-page FYI rant from me. So ladies, if you want to experiment with cannabis in the hopes that it might add a little pizzaz to your sex jazz, by all means please do, just don’t get down if you can’t get down. It’s not you, dah’ling, it’s the weed.
Images by Moriah Yex of Eva Sativa and her Love.